Introduction
In this book you will find
more than poems;
but the true souls, hearts and minds
of our generation of writers
who seal their writings of hope, trust,
lost love and curiosity
inside of this book in hopes
that they shall remain in the hearts
of all their friends at Brookwood.
-- Heather
A Family Once
A family once,
a family twice,
A dream of wonder,
a dream of sound.
When I'm mad,
when I'm depressed,
When I am here,
when I am gone,
This and that,
this and that,
Family here,
family there,
A family once,
a family full.
-- Darlina
Those Three Words
What makes loving me so difficult
when all I ask for is a shoulder to cry on,
When I feel like I need to sulk,
a smile for my frown.
When all the happiness in me is gone,
and my world is upside down?
A hug for rainy days
and sunny ones too,
but please don't forget
the most important thing yet --
yes, just saying those three words,
"I love you".
-- Heather
Nightlight
(A Haiku)
Fire burning bright
Keeps away my darkest thoughts.
Candle burn with might.
-- Heather
Mending Still
I'm over you, no longer fighting
you. I'm mending still. No longer crying
for your absence in my
life. No longer screaming
your name out loud.
My heart is healed but my soul
is mending still. No more
you. But mending still.
-- Audrey
Mom
I just want you to
know that I love you.
I wish I could see you
but you are so far away.
I wish you could see how I look now,
I have grown in so many ways.
I wish you were here to see me now.
Well, I love you in every way.
-- Samantha
Love
Love is not just a four letter word
that everyone uses
and doesn't know
the meaning of.
It's an emotion
that is unexplainable,
unbelievable.
You can't live with or
without it.
I just don't
understand it.
-- Lameisha
The One I Love
The person I love,
the one I turn to when times are rough,
sometimes I say I hate her,
but in the end love her,
the woman that brought me into this world
to amaze all the beautiful stuff like my family,
she is the lovely lady named mommy.
-- Mariah
Why Did You Die?
To My Daddy
I came out of her womb
looking for you,
but you I couldn't find.
In my head I was thinking,
did he lose his mind?
When I turned six
I came to a point
that in my bones
there's a broken joint.
You left before I was born
and it created a disease.
But there's a question I have
to ask, and it is wise.
Every day of fourteen years
I sit and cry,
but daddy, O daddy,
why did you die?
-- Neicy
Dear God
Dear God, nobody knows
what I want.
Nobody knows why I want it.
Nobody knows why.
They don't know, nobody,
nobody knows why.
They don't know me
because I don't even
know myself.
-- Britney S.
Daddy's Lil' Girl
Daddy's lil' girl,
once so small...
who used to run around
and climb trees.
Daddy's lil' girl,
who won a spelling bee...
and the one who once loved
to eat tapioca pudding.
Daddy's lil' girl
who's grown so much...
who has a boyfriend,
and who misses you very much!!!
Daddy's lil' girl
who loves you so much...
who will always remember and
will forever be daddy's lil' girl.
-- Sabrina
Father?
I cannot say I know him, I can't say he's my friend,
I cannot call him a stranger, I was born because of him.
I cannot say I love him, I can't say he loves me.
I cannot say I hate him, my mother taught me differently.
I cannot say he cares, I can't say that I know.
I cannot call him brave, 'cause he left me long ago.
I cannot call him family, I can't call him my own.
I can't say he'll be back for me -- I've waited far too long.
I cannot say I trust him, I can't say that I would,
I cannot call him father, though I'm wishing that I could.
I cannot call him perfect, I can't say he was true,
but I can say I am human, and just like him I mess up too.
-- Taniesha
I Have Never
I have never been sky diving.
I haven't been to Paris
or gone to Canada,
or been with my mom
in 12 years, but...
I would like to.
-- Leeha
Family
Mista, Mista,
Hello darling
Tree of life
Love of all women
Make us drool
All over ourselves
He so handsome
That Mista, Mista.
Sexy, Sexy,
That's what they call us.
We twist or hips
And jiggle our butts.
Make men drool
All over themselves
We're so beautiful
We're Sexy, Sexy.
Baby, Baby,
Look she's so cute
All gurgling and spurgling
Spit in her mouth
So light skinned and fair
And so darn funny.
It's our precious,
Our Baby, Baby.
Family, Family
that's what they are
that Sexy, Sexy
with Mista, Mista
and their Baby, Baby.
-- Darlina
The Language of Looks
I look up,
Fleeting away into
The grey-blue sky.
I fill my cup,
And notice the hue
Your hazel eye.
Gaze drifting away,
What that means --
The distance grows.
Things you always say
leave no hope for dreams,
Away like the wind it blows.
-- Emily
The Pain
As I lay upon the chair
you rub my cheeks with your hand.
You caress my face.
I'm scared, I don't know what to do.
Should I stay or should I go --
I wanna leave but I tell myself no.
You force yourself upon me --
putting me through all the grief.
You smile and grin,
and still keep going.
I can feel it,
it hurts.
I'm somewhat numb.
I wanna cry, but I've got to be strong.
You ask me if I'm okay.
I nod my head yes,
waiting for you to leave me alone.
You're going in
and you're going out.
Lights above me go off,
big lights come on.
He says, "Okay, I'm done."
Door opens,
it's my mom...
"How are your teeth doing?".
-- Stephanie F.
Special One
You mean so much to me
and yet you don't see
you are my special one.
I can tell you care so much,
each and every day.
Your smile makes the room light up
with warmth and love.
And when you say, "Hey"
I want to grab you in my arms
and not let go until
the end of time.
You don't look at my past,
you look at my future.
You show me you care
and that you wouldn't harm
a hair on my head.
I wish you would tell me
you love me.
I hope you never hesitate
to do anything.
You show me how to be positive.
You tell me to take things day by day
and keep my head up.
Keep going, good things come to
those who wait.
Well, there I am,
waiting
FOR YOU!
-- Leeha
My Prayer
My prayer is for someone to hear my cry,
that my whole life is not just a lie.
My prayer is to hold my mother's hand
and for her to just once say
she understands.
My prayer is to stand strong
through this life and just wait until
one day I'm able to fly.
My prayer is to just once to know who I am.
Am I as weak and fierce as a lion
or as strong and meek as a lamb?
My prayer is simple, just for God,
Please answer my prayer and
thanks a lot....
-- Angelica
Life
It has a beginning, a middle, but no end.
Everlasting life is what we seek to avenge.
There is only one path, one way,
so listen to what God has to say.
It may be lost, it might be unclear.
It may be something you don't want to hear.
Use your time wisely, for it comes and goes.
When it ends no human may know.
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
Wanting what we want and having what we have.
Temptation in it, causing you to sin.
Leading you to hell and back again.
There's danger in it, it's all around.
If you listen to His Word, He won't let you down.
Choose your path wisely for it could be your last.
Look to your future, not your past.
Pick your trail that leads to your heart,
because there's an end, not another start.
This is what I call life!
-- Terissa
My Mom's Not Aware
My mom's not aware
of the pain we share,
that lasts with me forever,
the heartbreaks, the fears,
the crying, the tears.
Lord, please make her
be there.
Our love is like the ocean and
as clear as the air.
So Mom, please don't you
see the scared little girl
who still lives inside of me?
-- Angelica
Thanks, Grandma
You have been there since day one.
I can't replace you with anyone.
You have been there through thick
and thin, this love will never end.
There have been sad days, some are blue,
but I can get through as long as I have you.
You have been there by my side,
you hold me when I start to cry.
You wipe away all my tears.
With you I have no fears.
I love you so much I thought you'd know,
although all my love doesn't show.
Thanks for being there through all the things.
Oh what joy your love brings.
Your love is like no other,
that's why you're the best grandmother.
-- Jennifer
My Memory
As I lie awake at night
basking in the moonlight.
I try to think of you
and your dark hair,
the way you move
and the clothes you wear,
the special things you and I shared.
Yet memories of you are so far away,
so distant,
forgotten in an instant,
so much as to where you are just
my memory.
-- Heather
Too Afraid to Touch
Too afraid to touch.
Don't know why.
Maybe my heart
says not to rush.
Maybe it's because I
love you too much.
Maybe the feeling
of, "I want more of
you in a special
way", and only
to think of marriage
every day.
If you'll understand,
then you'll stay.
Too afraid to touch
is all I can say.
-- Kelly
My Flower to You
Here's my flower to you. It
never felt the drops of the early
dew. But the tears in my heart
will keep it watered for you. I
love you so much.
Mom, I will never give up. You're
the best thing in my life. Someday
things will be alright. All
I can do is stay tough and
deal with the rough.
This poem is to show you how
much I care, and to let you
know I am there. You're my blood
and I promise to love.
-- Tiffany
Forgive/Forgiving
Forgiving is something
very big, very strong.
Forgiving people
is hard for me.
You always have to forgive.
People aren't perfect.
You have to forgive
because God forgave us.
We all do things
to affect others in many ways.
We have to learn
to forgive each other
anyway.
Forgiving people
is what I have to work on.
People make mistakes
and will do whatever they can
to earn people's trust back.
Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive,
I need to forgive others.
-- Jessica M.
Fear in Love
Love, hate, and ecstacy are all I
sip from you for each taste
that I sip.
Scars and bruises upon
my pale complexion with
picture proof.
Pain, rage, and anger are
what you hand out for
gifts.
Regret, shame, and bad memories
are all I'm left to prosper
with.
-- Jennifer
Ashes of Sorrows
Ashes of sorrows,
as I knock on the door and sounds of hollow --
you make it seem like there's no tomorrow.
Ashes of sorrows,
the stress in the wind,
the tears in the rain.
Ashes of sorrows.
We argue, we fight.
We both don't want to step in the light.
Scared to embrace what we believe in.
Ashes of sorrows,
a midnight storm,
place my feelings in the sand so warm.
I let my pain go into the sunset.
Ashes of sorrows,
the way I feel when you say there's a
tomorrow.
Now I know there's a guiding light,
it provides me with might.
And strength to see.
Ashes of sorrows,
the power it has.
-- Malisa
Magazines
What is it about being thin?
Men act as though women sin.
Why can't we be big and round?
What's wrong with weighing
more than 120 lbs.?
You make your judgements
based on size, not how
a woman lives her life.
You don't want a girl
who's big and round, and thinks
she's fine. I guess you wouldn't want
to be seen with her all the time.
That's why I ask,
what is it about being thin?
'Cause y'all act like women sin.
-- Darlina
Moving On
There is always a time in your life
where you have to move on.
Moving on is a very hard thing to do,
but sometimes you just need to let things be.
Moving on is always hard for you.
When you move on you meet new people
and do new things.
You may lose friends that you really love,
but your friends may have moved on too.
I've had to move on so many times in life,
and I wondered, why me, all the time.
There will always be things that you may hate,
but know it's for a reason.
I had so many things happen to me when
I was young, but I let those things go.
You will have many challenges
that you will have to decide what to do.
I didn't know where my life
was going when I was young
because I moved from home to home
where people didn't love me and didn't care.
Then I finally found a home to stay
where people loved me and cared.
Moving on is something I always did and
always will do as my life moves on.
-- Jessica M.
My Heart
My heart beats softly as I
lay my head down to sleep,
and as I sleep I dream of
you, my family.
My heart races as I
remember all the fun times,
all the fun times I spent
with you, my family.
My heart skips a few beats
as I think about how much
I miss, how much I miss
you, my family.
My heart aches when I
remember all the time,
all the time we have
lost together, my family.
As my heartbeat returns
to normal, I know how much
you love me and we will be
together, together soon, my family.
-- Andrea
Family
Family is supposed to be strong.
But ours has been apart for so long.
But to let you know no matter how
near or how far, I will be with you
no matter where you are.
Even though our family fell
apart, I still love you with all
my heart. I promise to never stray.
I will take care of you when
you're old and gray.
Mom and Dad, I promise to make
you proud, whether you're dead or
around. I know in my heart that
our family will be together some day.
That's what I hope and feel, anyway.
Mom, you never gave up, and Dad,
you stayed tough. Hang in there,
I love you both so much.
-- Tiffany
Red!
I love the color red.
It describes me very well.
When I laugh my cheeks
turn cherry red.
Many things remind me
of my favorite color.
Like hot summer days and sunsets
across a beautiful warm sea,
or bright red apples on a tree.
I'm always cheerful like
red hearts and balloons.
I remind myself of a
beautiful red rose that
blossoms all alone.
I'm never mad.
I'm always good like
ripe strawberries.
I just love everything red!
-- Michelle
Distance
For some odd reason
there will always be
distance between us.
All my life
you have never been there
and it hurts,
'cause you were not there
to choose what I wear.
You are my mom
and I love you
and I know
you love me too.
But I want us
to get close.
But we have a bad bond
that started when I
was so young.
Mom, I want you to know
that one day our distance
will go away.
So just pray that we get
close and each and every day
we will be happy
because our distance
will be closer
than so far away.
-- Ruth
Hope
It's all dark where I am
and I cannot find the light.
There are shadows all around me
and my heart is full of fright.
Everyone is cheerful.
They never ever see
that storm clouds are forming
upon the peaceful seas.
I cannot see the future
and I cannot change the past,
but the present is so heavy,
I don't think I'm going to last.
-- Jasmine
Mother
A mother I wish I knew,
but I've never seen you.
A mother I wish I could love,
but you're never there to love.
So for now, I'll keep searching
and hoping I'll find someone
to love me.
-- Miranda
I Wish
For My Dearest Mother
I wish I was home with you.
I wish I had you with me.
So here is a little something
for you, Mom.
B - Beautiful as the rose among the tulips in your garden.
R - Rare among the world, a great mother like you.
A - An Amazing light shining in your daughter's eyes.
N - No one will ever take me away from you, Mom.
D - Daughter of the Grandmother of your children.
Y - You will always be the all in my heart and
in my soul.
-- Andrea R.
Bad Days
These are a part of
everyone's life.
Some more than others.
Some almost never.
These bad days are filled
with heartache and pain.
These bad days I try to
dodge, but they've got good aim.
I ask God over and over
again, can you please make
the bad days end?
-- Lameisha
My Name
Magical
Inspiring
Caring
Helpful
Enduring
Loveable
Likeable
Enthusiastic.
-- Michelle
Memory
You are nothing
but a memory,
a memory that I wish
would come true,
A memory that's
so close to me,
a memory that
might never be.
A memory in which I see you,
but you don't see me.
A memory where nothing
is left to be.
A memory in which
I thought you cared,
A memory that is
no longer there.
-- Miranda
I Love You, Ma
No more lying
that's what I promised you,
That I will love you forever
that's what I said.
But when I'm mad
I break all rules,
And I tell you I hate you
and then I feel sad.
And this cycle goes on
as though its natural,
But I know it's not
and I hate myself.
And when I see your tears
it makes me cry,
But when I see you smile,
I feel so happy.
I love you ma,
and I'll love you forever.
I love you ma,
I love you,
I love you.
-- Darlina
Thankful
For once in a lifetime I feel complete,
with thanks only to you.
abstract ideas of love are now a reality
and I am walking to and from with
my head held high.
It's funny how when you're so low,
that when you finally pick yourself back up
you get so high.
You're my natural remedy for feeling
good that no chemical can compare.
Motivation for something greater, yet
keeping interactions mellow.
We are the most beautiful duo,
every day becoming better.
I love you!!
-- Hillary
No Room to Breathe
Everyone crowds around me.
The pain is just too hard to take.
My weakness is visible to everyone now
and there's no room to breathe.
I'm suffocating
and no one cares.
My life is being sucked out of me,
and there's no way out, no room to
breathe.
I'm dying. Please save me.
My heart is racing.
Plunging into darkness,
it engulfs me.
I try to scream
and there's no blood in my veins,
no room to breathe.
Save me from this darkness.
Awake me from this nightmare.
Catch me 'cause I'm falling.
Close my ears, someone is calling.
I shut my eyes, try not to see.
There's no life left, no room to breathe.
-- Heather
Because of You
Because of you
I can fall in love
and it feels much more
like a five finger glove.
Because of you
I can smile again
and I have made you
my closest friend.
Because of you
I am not so mean,
but as you say,
"I be actin' green."
Because of you
I have learned to love,
and it seems to me,
God sent you from above.
-- Neicy
Hollowed?
"Our Father which art in heaven
hollowed be Thy name,"
the preacher said, or so I thought.
Hollow, hollow, hollow --
I just didn't get it.
My Father is fulfilling in every way
all my needs.
He gives me comfort through
the tragedy and light through
the darkness.
He gives me love when no one else
cares and He mothers me when I'm
orphaned.
He answers all my questions
with just the right answers,
so how could I say He was hollow
when He's there.
I thought it should be,
"Our Father which art in
heaven, fulfilling be Thy name,"
Then I learned,
God isn't hollowed, empty.
He's hallowed, holy,
"Our Father which art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name".
-- Angelica
Brookwood Love
B is for Bond together.
R is for show Roommate love.
O is for Overcome fear.
O is for love Other people by colors.
K is for Kick butt.
W is for I love some girls in Brookwood because I am
Wow and they are Wow.
O is for Only think the best.
O is for taking One day and one moment at a time.
D is for I Don't know everything.
L is for the Love of my heart.
O is for Only truth is good enough.
V is for Victory over falsehood and fear.
E is for make Every day count.
-- Lisa & Jalisa
About the Cover
The name "Heart Beat" is a metaphor
for the poetic exploration of the heart's terrain.
The inspiration came on Valentine's Day
when this heart illustration arrived unexpectedly.
Artist, Laura Green, graciously
granted permission to use her art.
For her wonderful contribution
to this first Volume of Heart Beat,
we are enormously thankful.
This Book was Made Possible...
...by the hard work of the contributing poets.
Thank you for your wonderful poems!
We also wish to thank those Friends of Brookwood
who lent their financial and moral support:
Frances Hughes
Waldo Jones
Mel & Maria Saraceno
Bud & Judy Cherry
Debbie Burns
Annette Raimondo
Stella Pagnozzi
George & Jeanne Chase
GIRLS NIGHT OUT VOLUNTEERS:
Susan Adams
Jeanne Chase
Nicki Clark
Annie Karto
Sally Lawson
Kathleen McNeil
Linda Stone
Suzi Thompson
Priscilla Romano
Maria Williams
SPECIAL THANKS TO THE GREAT
BROOKWOOD STAFF
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